Lately, the most used, remembered word, has been resilience…
Different coaches, different people, have given different definitions, but my preferred one is :
“From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Psychological resilience is defined as an individual’s ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity. Stress and adversity can come in the shape of family or relationship problems, health problems, or workplace and financial worries, among others.[1] Resilience is not a rare ability; in reality, it is found in the average individual and it can be learned and developed by virtually anyone. Resilience should be considered a process, rather than a trait to be had.[2]
There is a common misconception that people who are resilient experience no negative emotions or thoughts and display optimism in all situations. Contrary to this misconception, the reality remains that resiliency is demonstrated within individuals who can effectively and relatively easily navigate their way around crises and utilize effective methods of coping.[3][4][5][6] In other words, people who demonstrate resilience are people with optimistic attitude and positive emotionality; they are by practice able to effectively balance negative emotions with positive ones.[1]“
I love this definition, because it does not tell that you have to smile always, it does not tell you that you have to be ever happy – but, following the definition of my daughter – “It is when Ms Happiness is able to make Mr Sadness or Mr Fury smile…” meaning, you know what is making you sad or angry, but you are also able to see a smile there, an opportunity…
Another nice thought about resilience is being able to see each fall, each difficulty as the brick that builds the building stronger… You will not hide the “scars” made by the hurtful event, but you will show it elegantly and with proud, because it is the charm to share your fights and your survival!
But better than this is to understand and be aware that being resilient is not a gift, it is not coming from the genes, but it is result of efforts, building habits and mainly being able to manage your emotions correctly…
🙂 I am in my way to learn how to build it, I feel I have to be an expert on resilience so I can be an example and I can help whoever needs, but indeed, now I am having so many role models in my work, in my life, in my children, that I am sure that I will turn to be a very resilient person by “osmosis”…
Right now, just by walking through the corridors through my workplace, praying with my children every night, living day after day, finding thousand things to be thanking for when I wake up, have been the best way to feel resilient!
To close, I share a phrase that I have remembered in many different moments when my soul does not allow me to be a learner instead of being a judger – when I have to put my neurones to activate their synapses to work – brain work, not heart work – rationalising a fact that irritates me…
“It is not the fact itself which irritates you , it is the judgment you make of it, it is your interpretation, your perspective of the fact that makes you irritated, not the fact…”
So learn – whatever you feel about something is not about this something, it is about how you are seeing it…..